woke up at 5.15am? bath. and 5.36am come out. use pc - check kindness.sg to collect daisy for my colleagues - how to go raffles city ( hitachi _ _ _?)anyway, has back-up plan.if raffles dun hav - i go orchard : wisma (too early n too far frm my workplace - so i gav up) if not city hall - gt raffles city (starbucks) and suntech (mac)... In the end: left my hse at 6.35am, happily breathing morning air, thinking hw :) a day will b...then wait for quite awhile, took 178, walk to je mrt, every1 walking fast n like looking at me? haha. anyway, not as crowded (for the pathway n trains) happi coz i thot train arrive but i reach up (still there), i boarded, den started raining at commonwealth, my heart trembled, coz raffles no shelter n i din bring umbrella den thought nvm mayb rain better, distributing inside station. haiz, but the serviceman says it onli start at 11am - 2pm. Sad. He is a nice guy, he help mi check Doby gaut wad time distribute but he dunoe.

In the end, i still make a trip there, den the person says not here , is at raffles, siao ah, i jus come frm there...i think in my heart den i say website say NEL mah, den she say go straight, down, rite..siao.. but den i do it. lst time leh, i doing and walking like a lost child but i m not scared, i tried. and i walked but too bad, see the kindness loin statue but no1 there distributing den i noe no hope le. decide go vivo - den go take 145. den i reach vivo, dunwan to giv up, ask the train person again, when will it distribute? they dunoe n vivo not so early open so cfm haven la. haizy they make the kindness movement like tt?ppl work in the morning, of coz morning go take mah.in the end, so inconvenient. i noe i am bad to complain. i noe they make an effort le ( song, advertisment) but today rain so big, n lucky i found the bus stop at vivo. lst time taking bus frm there. and lucky not the interchange where i took 188 coz is out the bustop not inside ( i noe after 1 top frm the place i board the bus)so i think 神still help mi, very fast reach workplace le. i decide to buy western to make myself happi though not hungry but in end , i chose vegetarian. nice nice. but i didnt finish, afternoon den eat lor.haiz. still sad.thinking i take 145, i see the rain, like my heart sanking. haiz. i lst time see such a big ran in the morning, i am standing at the bus stop where there are many ppl, buses come n go but i am still there, afraid my bus dun come though i gt alot time.. and thinking wad bus to take..got 57, 131..but i nv take b4, noe can reach but scare.. scare they come le, i didnt board and i am still there..

alot alot feeling today....though sad. but also hapi coz do many thin i nv do b4..alone. so lonely. but tt's life. is my life. onli i experience n i noe. hiaz... but den still hapi la. coz i experience many things here. and hapi to noe all the colleagues. though not v close but den still overall hapi.sad de is i cant b gd fren with the attachment frens..nvm la ! :D yes, i can absorb the time left to do more things!! OT OT OT !! =)

Jus when i finish the post ytd morning around 8.45am...
The day started well...
D helped mi in my crystal report. dunoe y, suddenly he jus helped mi, explained to me.. like so paitence and with slow speed.
haaz..

in my heart, i reali feel happi. but i didnt show it.
...
i dunoe y.
recently, my body like not functioning well.
it seems if u are unhappi inside, ur face can show it.
tt's y i looks ugly recently, like even i laugh also dun look gd anymore. ( i used to think ppl's smile: no matter hw (ugly) u think u r, but ur smile makes a difference de lor)

Oh ya, b4 i end tis post, i noe is a long post. haha.
hmm.... All the colleagues dun wan the flowers, they try to pass on. & i become their victim, actually i like the flower but my heart is to give (...) mah, but he dunwan, lucky i nv take for colleagues lor, if not they cant pass also, coz all gt.. Lucky! somehow, things are linked, in the morning,i hope gt tuition for crystal report, i thot can ask tree for help but but but ..he is so busy tt i dun dare to ask him, den D come for rescue... though he asked many qn which make mi feel i m stupid but still he helped mi, making mi understanding.
=)
and like i reali feel warmth leh.
which i dunoe how to express.
in d end, i still go. without saying byby.
i scare (...) feel "weird", coz sometime i say byby to him but sumtime didnt... lucky nv say on thu if not fri nv say like v obvious coz i dunwan say to d mah, so like he wun think i (_(h)) ...
haha. anyway, i hope he dunoe, i feel stn but like i say,i think is 错觉... so so so, is ok ba.

tis type of thing.. it's "outta of my control" =O

2 songs suit my feelings:
偶尔
张韶涵
我们都曾经失去爱情从你的身上我认识刻骨铭心错过的花季我的心也纠结成冰我们都曾经非常努力却常常的叹息常常有了疑问句所以我离去偶尔很清醒偶尔却抗拒偶尔有睡意偶尔很伤心当我们反复练习想让爱归零但无能为力偶尔很开心偶尔却下雨偶尔又梦境偶尔很想你但我们总是安静当我们安静也做了决定却不要再见你

神啊,救救我
上帝楞O佑我的 愛情總楊茠 我在夢中一切都有可惜現實呀 常常是相反的 愛她的男人很多 那我又算什麼我在雨中喝著悶酒 反正幸福呀 對我是奢侈的心裡太清楚了 其實她不愛我 奇怪 地球上怎麼楊S有人 看上我神啊 救救我吧 一把年紀了 一個愛人都沒有孤獨是可憐的 如果沒愛過 人生是黑白的神啊 救救我吧一個人晃了半輩子了 為什麼我這樣的男人哪 就快要絕種她呢 又在哪兒

Love.
ya.
Love.
wad's love.
actually, Love is Love lor.
is easily said.
actually, Love is nth lor.
To b exact, it's jus an expression.
Jus a word.
Jus a Feeling.
Jus a thought.

I also dunoe wad i m talking abt.
jus suddenly wonder y all ppl wan love?
love so great?
love is so pain actually.
pain inside the 'great'
haha!
lame.
ya.
i noe.
=)

mayb the rest of the wk not many activities.
but den gd wad: no nid spend money.

12星座谁最爱搞暧昧 : NO.3 双鱼座

　　天性浪漫、多情的双鱼座，对于感情的追求总是幻想大过于真实，当然他们遇见喜欢的猎物，会主动追求想办法让对方陶醉、沉溺于浪漫的情境之中，他们很爱好自由、不喜欢有麻烦的恋情，但是他们又不善拒绝别人，所以往往他们常陷入多角恋情之中，让人感觉他对每个人的态度都是一样的，分不清他真正的心意到底是真还是是假！？如何征服双鱼座，对于爱情常处于幻想之中的他们，最适当的时机就是在他们周遭制造些浪漫的气息，体贴、关心的话语是不可少的重点，自然而然会把这个当成习惯，相信他们很快就能被你所打动啰！

13/11/09 - fen's bday celebration
(written on 14/11/09 : 8.45am)